First, a question: How did you find yourself reading this article?
Someone asked or compelled you to read.
Someone shared the article with you.
You saw an article on your feed by accident and are skimming through it out of curiosity.
You pursued to read it deliberately because you want to absorb the information and learn.
Pursuing deliberately to read these articles is a form of self-directed learning, which offers the best chance for you to benefit from this content.
People learn better when they control the flow of their experiences, as noted by psychologists Todd M. Gureckis and Douglas B. Markant[i]. For instance, think of a six-year-old child flipping through a children’s book about animals. When the child sees an image of an endangered wild animal and asks about it, they are directing their own learning. This is SDL.
As adults, we also learn better, think more creatively, and expand our horizons when we control our learning process.
Here’s the thing: Self-directed learning (abbreviated as ‘SDL‘) is the surest path to building your ideal self.
Leadership expert Richard Boyatzis developed a model of SDL that provides five steps for achieving real change and for discovering and building your ideal self [ii]. This model involves intentionally developing or strengthening an aspect of who you are or who you want to be. To do this, you need a strong image of your ideal self and an accurate picture of your real self – who you are now.
The five steps are:
Discover your ideal self. Who do you want to be?
Discover your real self. Who are you now? What are your strengths and gaps?
Create your learning agenda. How can you build on your strengths while reducing your gaps?
Experiment and practice new behaviors, thoughts, and feelings until they become natural.
Develop supportive relationships that make change possible.
Following these steps ensures that your ideal self becomes a driving force for continuous learning, skill development, and meaningful connections.
Here’s an example of applying these five steps:
Step 1: My ideal self is a productive, healthy, and generous person who contributes to my family, social circle, and community.
Step 2: Currently, I’m less productive than I’d like to be. I’m social and skilled at connecting with others but often procrastinate on important tasks.
Step 3: I will develop a structured daily routine, set clear goals, and seek feedback from peers and mentors to build on my strengths and tackle procrastination.
Step 4: I will start with specific, achievable daily tasks and gradually increase their complexity. I’ll practice mindfulness and time management techniques to improve productivity.
Step 5: I will join a professional network, seek a mentor for guidance, and share my goals with family and friends to build a supportive environment for my growth.
SDL might be slower than traditional learning due to the control over pacing, but it roots deeper, aligns with personal goals, and makes the journey to your ideal self more fulfilling.
By embracing SDL, you take active steps toward building your ideal self, supported by learning from others, seeking mentorship, and engaging with inspiring individuals who can guide you along the way.
How are you building your ideal self? I’d love to hear your comments below!
Philippos
PS: This extract is derived from Chapter 8 (Learning) of my book, The MARVEL of Happiness: Principles, Stories, and Lessons for Living Fully currently in its 2nd Expanded Edition. All rights reserved. Refer to the book for multiple useful references on the concepts discussed above. Click here: https://philarist.com/the-marvel-of-happiness/
[i] Todd M. Gureckis and Douglas B. Markant, ‘Self-Directed Learning: A Cognitive and Computational Perspective’, Perspectives on Psychological Science Vol. 7, No. 5, 5 September 2012.
[ii] Daniel Goleman, Richard E. Boyatzis, and Annie McKee, Primal Leadership, With a New Preface by the Authors: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence(Harvard Business Review Press, 2013).